Adrenal Fatigue. Does my daughter have "it?"

Concerned mom wants to know why her daughter is tired all the time

Hi Viveca,

I was searching the web trying to find some way to help my daughter and found your website. She has all of the symptoms of adrenal fatigue. She is 21 and has always been very skinny and energetic. She has gained 40 pounds in the last two years and has terrible acne along with all of the other symptoms you listed. I understand the emotional aspects, but I am wondering if you are taking anything for adrenal fatigue and if so, is it helping? I am desperate to help my daughter. She just moved to LA to persue a career in acting and this has the odds stacked against her. The worst it gets the more stressed she becomes. I would love to hear back from you. Thank you very much. - Concerned Mom

Dear Mom,

When I was about her age and going full throttle I use to regularly wear myself out and into bronchitis. A very wise doctor I had at that time would say to me "you can keep going and go into pneumonia and break your health and take a very long time to recover or, you can go to bed for a few days and get some rest." That blunt style worked for me and I'd head to bed.

Left untreated, adrenal fatigue can go into adrenal failure in which you break your health. Unlike adrenal fatigue, adrenal failure can take years to recover. So, perhaps you could mention that you'd spoken with an expert who said she could either make a few changes NOW or take a few years off to recover. Blunt worked best with me then and now.

I am not a doctor and always recommend visiting a physician to determine if there are underlying causes. That being said, if your daughter decides to make changes I would recommend she do the following immediately:

1. Purchase the Fatigue Be Gone Jumpstart e-Guide and complete Steps 1-3.
Make an appointment to see a doctor in 21 days. Complete the 'Physical Feelings' and 'Symptoms Survey' plus the 'Lifestyle Survey'.

Perhaps you could make this a mother/daughter activity. My mother and I went to smoke-enders together and it really helped to have the extra support!

2. Keep a diet, lifestyle & activity log for 7 days. Paying close attention to the foods you eat and daily activities makes it easier to track adrenal fatigue symptoms. Reviewing dietary, lifestyle and activity habits provides the opportunity to uncover destructive habits. Fatigue Be Gone Jumpstart e-Guide includes a Diet and Activity Log.

3. Review data and make changes. Healthy changes offering a natural energy boost include:

• Eliminate habits that deplete energy; i.e.: watching television or being on the computer after 8:00 pm; irregular sleep hours; toxic relationships.
• Choose one new healthy habit to form and get started. One habit at a time. One energy boost success will lead to another. New habits can be formed quickly; usually in 21 days or less. On the other hand, bad energy-zapping habits can be very difficult to break. Therefore, NEVER try to break a habit. Instead, start a new one to take its place.

Highly recommended 21-day practices that turn into energy-sustaining habits include:

• Become a Dog Walking Volunteer at a local "no kill" shelter. This 3-hour a week activity brought me new friends, much joy, a huge boost in self-esteem and energy (giver's gain.) It also melted off 7 pounds of extra weight in no time!

• Getting to bed by 10:00 p.m. every night with a quiet book and 'lights out' by 11:00 p.m. The adrenal glands do their most significant recharging between 11:00 p.m. and 1:00 a.m.

• Weekly meeting with a psychologist, personal lifestyle coach, or spiritual advisor to explore better ways to deal with stress and anxiety.

• Learn something new, fun and communal. A Friday Night Salsa or Jitterbug Class is cheap and fun way to increase energy. Added bonuses include learning how to dance, increased self-confidence and forming new friendships. Been there, done that and loved it!

• Break-the-Fast. Eat the Oatmeal Energize or a variation of it every morning.

• Engage in a news/internet/e-mail fast two to three days per week. Chances are your daughter needs to take cell phone and text messages to stay up with work opportunities. Anything else needs to be turned off a couple days every week because they over stimulate our adrenal glands.

• Get ready for tomorrow, tonight. Besides breakfast this is the best way to de-stress the morning and so, the rest of the day. Lay out the clothes you plan to wear down to the skivvies. Pack the lunch and any other materials needed for the day. People suffering from adrenal fatigue feel easily overwhelmed. Simplifying life and making days flow with ease are essential step to recovery.

Finally, how about some mother/daughter/best friend time? Could you take a week to fly out and just-have-fun with her? L.A. is a huge, fantastic, throbbing city. I bet she's feeling a bit lost and overwhelmed. My mother came to visit me for a couple weeks when I moved to Virginia. I was feeling a bit lost and lonely. She helped me break in the town and gave me a big dose of love and fun.

I hope this is of use to you and your daughter. Please keep me updated on your daughter's fatigue recovery. Sending you both my best!

Viveca


P.S. On a final note (for now) I recommend listening to an interview I had with the author of The Dance of Fear. Dr. Lerner is enjoyable to listen to – has a light touch - and offers invaluable advice on this topic. With everything going on right now most of us are feeling overly anxious and stressed. This interview would also be a good discussion piece between the two of you.

Finish what you start. A taxing weekend is part of your recovery from fatigue.

One symptom of Adrenal Fatigue is that we sufferers are easily overwhelmed by everyday tasks. We operate in an exhausting world of "brain fog," hyper-sensitivity and poor short term memory. It is easy for us to lose track of bank balances, anniversaries, personal commitments and to feel constantly "behind," frustrated and angry.

Then, add in an unwanted seasonal project like … tax preparation … and in comes the rage, insomnia, anxiety and extreme a.m. fatigue.

Have you seen that stop smoking commercial about how "quitting smoking sucks. "product name" makes it suck less." I encourage to follow my lead and have one sucky tax preparation weekend. Don't put it off because it will stay on your mind and wear you down. Don't drag it through weeks of evenings and spoil those weeks. That's what I did last year and the year before and the year before.

This weekend I will gather everything I need in one room. (and avoid the Zig Zag Syndrome. See below.) I will close the door - light the scented candle – have all my favorite music and pets near at hand and FINISH what I started three weeks ago. My husband can take over breakfast, lunch and dinner duty (as I did for him last weekend and the weekend before and …) Did you know that most people stricken by Adrenal Fatigue tend to be "Type As" who have a difficult time asking for help? True.

Final note --- few things are more exhausting then taxes but yes, they exist. The worst of them is the job not-quite-done. Tired people tend to have a lot of these. Why? Partly because fatigue and brain fog get in the way of completion. Another is that the lack of completion is demoralizing and fatiguing – the ol' chicken and the egg syndrome.

Do you remember how good it feels to complete a project? Use that memory to help you through this weekend. If your taxes are done or you have the pleasure of not having to do them, pick another "undone" and take it on. Pick something that can be done in 2 hours or less. Gather what you need in one room. Set a timer, put on your favorite music and "get rrrrr done."

Avoid the "Zig Zag" Syndrome. This is where you are cleaning out the office and carry a book to the bedroom. Then you start organizing the bedroom bookcase. Before long you carry a glass to the kitchen and start loading the dishwasher … Zig zaggers leave a trail of undones. Been there, still getting over that.

So, join me this weekend! Start and finish one task then notice how energy-boosting a job done well enough and completed can feel …

Cheers! Viveca

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